Another tour season is starting. The eight graders will soon grow from a trickle to flood. Families will follow in the summertime and six months will pass before tour guides wonder what happened over the past half year.

Tourists say and do a lot of funny and unexpected things.

The No. 1 question I’m asked is where are the restrooms. It’s also the most impassioned and urgent question. Luckily, I’m king of the bathrooms and know where they are around the National Mall. Not a tour goes by that someone doesn’t comes up while I’m waiting for my group to ask where the restrooms are. I guess it’s the tour guide badge that makes them think I work there.

Foreign tourists sometimes ask what the squirrels and lightning bugs are. I had to grab one kid from trying to pet a squirrel. There was one squirrel that wanted to steal my ice cream while I was near the skating rink – the little rat.

Real estate prices interest visitors, probably because it’s one way of comparing our lives to theirs. They’re a little surprised by the $1.4 million price tag for some Capitol Hill digs. I’m also a Realtor (and newspaper columnist) so I keep current on home prices.

They like seeing kickball games on the ball between young adults. It amazes them games are played in the shadows of the monuments. Frankly, it surprises me a little, too, but it’s cool.

The new red rental bikes are an attraction. There’s one on 15th St. and Pennsylvania Ave. where my group catches the bus and people are amazed that someone would actually “rent” a bike.

In the end, it’s the little things that tourists often pick up.